A mother and child in Gaza

I was born during the Gulf War in 1991. At the time I was oblivious to everything. I was not fully aware of who I really was, where I was, what my religion was … I was uncertain and unsure of everything, but the one thing I knew without any hesitation was my mother: her scent, and that her existence meant I was safe.

Later on in my adulthood, my mother told me about her fear for me at the time. She was terrified of the idea that something might happen to me.

How surreal that feels now .. I am so sorry mother, I did not even begin to imagine how you were feeling at the time. But now, as a new mother, I unfortunately do. My 5-month-old daughter has lived through her very first Israeli assault this weekend. This was her first time hearing the sound of rockets approaching and explosions. This was her first time hearing the cries and screams of other children in fear.

I tried my best to comfort her, to make her feel safe by holding her to my heart, but I was terrified all the time of putting her down. What if I am unable to protect her? What if something happens to me as happened with other mothers who were unable to protect themselves, let alone their children?

This feeling of utter helplessness and fear is brutal.

We are only able to breathe now because the Israeli occupation allowed us to, our lives are dependent on their explosive barrels and their bank of targets, whether we were lucky enough to not be in the geographical range of their explosions and murder.

Every time I hear the voice of Israeli warplanes approaching, all I could do is pray … I pray to God to protect us as there’s nothing else we could do.

We’re normal people, aren’t we? We wake up every morning, kiss our kids before sending them to the nursery and then going to work. We drink coffee and share small talk and get excited about going back home to our families and loved ones.

Why can’t they see that? Why can’t they see that we’re humans just like everyone else?

Why kill our children?

Why kill our hope of a better future?

Is it our fault that we were born here?